So Near
Goodness, when I last looked out
Across my desk one evening,
All the files lay round about -
Like that I couldn't leave 'em.
Brightly shone my lamp all night
'Cos the pile was huge
So I could get an end in sight
Before the next deluge.
Mail from here and text from there,
New e-mail ninety-four,
Reports well overdue I fear -
One by a year or more
Last thing I needs now's a lad
Going on about some chap
Living all alone and sad,
When I'm in such a flap
But the lad ignores my desperation
And is actually quite bold,
Goes on despite my exasperation
To say the guy's freezing cold.
Resigned, 'OK,' I say, 'let's see him',
But then an idea strikes me -
I look at all my files and grin
'In fact, let's go immediately!'
'But Dad,' says the boy, 'it's late,
And don't you know it's snowing?
Why not 'til the morning wait,
We can see then where we're going.'
My reply was to grab some bags
And clear the desk completely,
In it all went, including some fags -
Solved my problems neatly.
Dashing out into the night,
Turning once to bellow:
'I know how to sort his plight -
Let's go and find that fellow!
Step where I step - you'll be fine,'
I suggested to my son.
'But Dad your steps are bigger than mine,
I only take size one.'
So I carried him with my coat wrapped round -
His head was all that showed,
My footsteps made a crunching sound
As we set off down the road.
I wondered if anyone saw us pass
That night on Christmas Eve,
Looking just like the Father Christmas,
In whom they didn't believe.
At last we met the poor old man -
He was out of coal and freezing,
His fire was low but I had a plan
To help his cough and sneezing.
We took the bag and emptied all
The contents on the floor,
And made two piles very tall,
With plenty left for more.
The old man said 'That's very kind,'
Eyes sparkling as he spoke,
'You sure no-one's going to mind
All this going up in smoke?'
'Too late now,' I quickly replied,
Beginning to feel quite soppy,
Then added 'anyway' and lied'
'Someone's bound to have a copy.'
'This lot should last a good few days'
Then I'm bound to get some more'
So anytime just visit my place -
I'll leave it by the door.
Not just for winter-only use,
But summer when it's bright,
Just try reading a few reviews -
You'll be off just like a light!'
Heading home after a while
I wondered what I'd done,
But couldn't help but give a smile:
Two problems solved in one.
Now Christmas Day I'd have no work
To worry about at all,
No urgent tasks driving me beserk,
No phone numbers to recall.
Another day I'd print some more,
When the holidays were done,
But now I hadn't a single chore -
Tomorrow should be fun.
'But Dad,' a sleepy voice did mumble,
'What's stopping you starting again?'
'The leads, young man, were in that jumble -
Plugs, wires all up in flames!
Shops closed all day - maybe two -
Computer's off for sure,
And my fags were in there too.
So I'll be grumpy but not such a bore;
I shall drink and be merry,
(And probably very Much more merry)
Than you've ever seen me before!